Dear Sweet Beckett

My Sweet Beckett,

This is your mama, and I’m so proud of you. I am so blessed to be your mama. I’m so glad that God chose me to be your mama. Got it? Even though your early arrival is really hard to deal with, I wouldn’t trade it for the world to be your mama. And I’m going to do everything I can to love you extra while you have to grow outside my womb these next 15 weeks. You are the second most handsome guy in my life. (I do like your daddy lots). I am so thankful that you have come this far after just 5 days of life. You have amazed us with your breathing, not needing the ventilator, practiced eating my yummy food I prepare for you every two hours, trying to keep your Apneas and Bradicardia’s to a minimum, shown us just how amazing God knit you together through your shiny, transparent like skin and tiny-ness. I know you’re telling us you get tired sometimes, but we do realize that we’re asking you to be extra strong by eating and breathing already like a big boy. Mama has cried many tears of joy and thanks that you’re handling it so well. It’s hard not to compare things to your big sister, Ellie, but you seriously son are ROCKING IT!

As for today, my sweet Beckett, thank you for chatting with God and the both of you blessing us with a good day. Mommy borderline had a breakdown last night, and was just tired from everything that has happened the past week. I don’t want to be away from you this much. I wanted so much to bring you home when I had to go home from the hospital. But I know you need that fancy electronic equipment to help keep you growing until you’re a big boy…and your daddy is just fascinated by that stuff too, which I think is cute. He’s going to write some more tech spotlights because some equipment has changed since your big sister was tiny like you. She had to take some time growing in a hosptial too. I guess you guys are kind of in a club now. I pray that you two are just blessings to everyone you meet because you both are tiny miracles from God. Good job with your blood transfusion today. I heard you handled it well, and I am so proud that you are trying to start eating again. 2 mls is a good start over. And we’ll start over as many times as you need to make sure your tummy is ready. Beckett, we are so blessed that you have such amazing care at this place called the Harris Downtown Hotel, I mean NICU. Dr. Grubbs is an amazing man, and so knowlegable in taking care of micro-preemies like you. He even said that he’d treat you like his own son until we get to bring you home. That made mommy and daddy feel confident in his care for your precious body. Beckett, God blessed us with a private room accomodation at your hospital too. We are going to decorate it tomorrow with Airplanes because daddy works at that Lockheed place where they make cool planes. You will think it’s so cool learning about what Daddy does for his job. We are so proud of him too. I know he can’t wait to tell you all about it. Thank you today baby boy for feeling well enough that MOMMY GETS TO HOLD YOU! Yes, that deserved to be in capital letters. Mama is going to get to hold you tonight because you finally have your lines out of your umbilical area. And when I hold you, it’s called Kangaroo care, kind of a cute name, but we’ll be skin to skin little buddy and I can’t wait. I’ve sure missed holding you these past 5 days. And it’ll be different this time, but oh, Beckett, I’m so excited. I’ll probably cry the whole time, but you need to know that I am kind of a cry-er, and you might just get to see that compassionate side of me your whole life. But they will be tears of joy, tears of thankfulness to our God and Creator who made you ever so perfect, just a 2 lb. 2.26 oz. version of perfect. You have a story little boy. I love you more than you’ll ever know. You’re a fighter, Beckett Thomas Gramkow, and just know that when mama can’t be there with you at the hospital, Jesus is holding you in His hands, and He’s holding mama too.

Love you,

Mama