My New Favorite Game........Pat-E-Cake!

Sleeping is Good!

One Crazy Week

My new swing! Look I'm getting so big!! My daddy and me...we're best buds.Here I am all bundled up to get in the car to take Mom and Dad to class! I love my bouncer seat! Also...this is the cute onsie that I got from my other little friend, Ellie! It has Ellie embroidered on the bottom...I'll have to get a picture of that next time! Well, this past week has been pretty crazy for Team Gramkow! Our babysitter, Lori and her family got sick so it was up to Mom and Dad to figure out how to make this work! Ellie got a lot of carseat time as Mom packed up Ellie to pick up Dad outside the engineering complex at 10:20 am only to switch drivers and drop Mom off at her class that started at 10:30 am. I don't think Ellie minded it much at all, but it was a bit taxing on Mom and Dad! We're praying for Bill, Lori and Bridget and good health to come their way soon! It's no fun being sick! Prayers for Mandy too as she is now sick! :( I am SO ready for cold and flu season to be done! Yesterday the symptoms really hit hard so I've been camping out on the couch while Ben does an amazing job of caring for Ellie. So frustrating, but I'm trying to sleep as much as possible this weekend to hopefully get rid of this cold ASAP! The past week we've had a couple Ellie appointments. Jeanette, our infant toddler case worker, and occupational therapist came to assess Ellie's development. Ellie does a great job of tracking your voice and will follow you if you move. It's pretty fun. We tried to get her to track a toy while Jeanette was here and she wouldn't follow the toy, but would a face! Faces are so much more interesting! :) Ellie was also all smiles when Jeanette started talking to her. Too fun! We did notice that Ellie favors turing her head to her right, so we've rearranged some stuff in the house (her bouncy seat, her diaper changing station) to try to get her to strengthen the left side. We also have some black and white pictures she likes to look at because we learned that babies love to look at contrast. We've also tried to increase her tummy time. She's still not very strong at keeping her head up, but with practice, hopefully it'll get better! She also is starting to find her hands and will put them to her mouth. She actually sometimes helps herself put her pacifier back in her mouth! Friday Ellie and I went to Family Connections and visited with at county health nurse, Sharon. It's mostly educational and informational things about Ellie's growth. We also got her weighed and she's 9 lbs. 11 oz. now! Yippee! That means she gained 9 ounces in the past 8 days. We have started to see an increase in mLs in her feedings. I think her record is 86 I think...anyways, she's still having some fussy feedings in the evenings with her classic arch back, but for the most part, she's doing better with her feedings. Dr.Duff did say it would take 1-2 weeks to for us to see if the increased dose of prilosec would help her acid reflux. So far so good with being off the caffeine. Praise Jesus for that one! She's such a delight and we're sure enjoying Ellie as she's become more responsive! What fun! Please just pray as we continue to have many life roles this semester and that we can be the parents Ellie needs us to be. Both Ben and I thought often of how we are so proud of our little princess and how she's 9 lbs. 11 oz - soooooooooooo different from 2 lbs. 8 oz.!! Enjoy the new pictures!

Starting to Smile :)

In Better Hands Now

What a day...tired, exhausted, sad, frustrated, happy, thankful, a lot of emotions...Ellie was tired today too...love the pic that points out her dimple! She's so cute! It started out with another phone call to the pharmacy because I hadn't heard back from them yesterday about the status of the synagis. Fed Ellie, Ben left for class, thought I'd get a shower in, but didn't because I was still trying to clarify with the pharmacy what they were now waiting on - they said Medicaid was waiting on a form from the doctor's office. So frustrating how the reasons change. Then, we rushed to the doctor's office for Ellie's 4 month check up with Dr.Duff. When we got to the doctor, the nurse told me that she was pretty frustrated with the synagis situation too. They said they've never had this many problems getting it straight. The doctor's office, the pharmacy, and the insurance company were on a conference call this morning and I think it's then when things got cleared up. Our little Ellie is getting a little bigger! She weighed in at 9 lbs. 2 oz. (which was fun because this was actually my birth weight!). This means she gained 11 oz. in the past two weeks which is great. Still on the lower end of weight gain desired range, but hey, still gaining! We're proud! :) Her height is now 22 and 1/4 in and that got her into the 1th percentile! Wahoo! Her head circumference is now 38 cm. Dr.Duff said he was very pleased with how her head is growing and he also said, look, now she's actually on the growth chart! We're thankful she is progressing even though it feels like she isn't in the day-to-day. We talked about the acid reflux concerns and he wrote a prescription to up her dose to 2.5 mL per day. So we'll see if this helps her symptoms. He said it'll take 1-2 weeks to maybe see if it's helping. More waiting. Caffeine no more! This was exciting news! We're going to try it and see how she does. So prayers there! We still are going to have the home apnea monitor for a couple more months. I'm not really upset that we'll have the monitor, especially with the caffeine being discontinued. 4 month check up meant 4 month shots :( Ellie was a trooper last time, but this time didn't go as well. She cried pretty hard and long. Poor thing. No fun. The Dr's office was out of the HIB vaccine so she'll actually have to get pricked again next week :( We're also still doing 22 cal every 2/3 hours and at night after midnight we can let her sleep 4-5 hours if she wants! Wahoo. Ben's really excited about this one! We'll come back in one month for a weight check and then of course her 6 month. So back to the synagis -they finally called me and said it would be ready for pick up at 2 pm today. Faithful Aunt Alice pulled through for us again and picked up Ellie's medicine! Alice actually got to pick it up at 1:30 p.m. I met her in Topeka, got home and the home health nurse came at 4:30 p.m. and poor Ellie got pricked again. I had daddy comfort her this time...it was hard to watch twice in one day! But..she needed her synagis and we are SO thankful that even amidst all the phone calls and the emotions, she got it on day 29! Wahoo! I did find some peace in God today through one of Natalie Grant's songs called, In Better Hands Now. Really you should search it on youtube. It's really good. She wrote it in response to her son's accident when he was badly burned in a bondfire accident. "Written as an anthem of hope, reminding us that in the arms of God is the greatest place of safety. Even if wer're scarred, full of questions and fear, there's no better place to be than in His hands. We don't have to be at our best for God to be at His. All we have to do is let go, and fall in to His arms of grace." I couldn't agree more. Thanks for your prayers. Blessings and Love, Team Gramkow Song Lyrics to In Better Hands Now by Natalie Grant It's hard to stand on shifting sand It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night You can't be free if you don't reach for help You cant love if you dont love yourself There is hope when my faith runs out Cause I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now I am strong all because of you I stand in awe of every mountain that you move Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone I am safe from this moment on There's no fear when the night comes 'round I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true Its like the breath of jesus is right here in this room So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now I'm in better hands now

What is God teaching me now...

Once again, I go in streaks, I'm good, I have it all together, and then frustration sets in to the point of continuous tears. In these times, it seems like God is saying to me over and over again, "Mandy, who's in control here?" Such a hard lesson for a new mom, I so want the best for little Ellie. I'm frustrated because today is day 28 from Ellie's last synagis and I was really hoping we'd have it here by now. Hopefully the insurance pre-authorization number comes through to the pharmacy and we'll be able to get it shipped to us. When I talked to Destiny at Caremark Pharmacy in Lenexa, KS, she was hopeful that Ellie would get her shot on time this month. Is it sad that I don't believe her? Is it wrong of me to have thoughts of not trusting until I get the phone call that says, yes, Mandy you can come pick it up again, or wow, wouldn't it be nice to have time to have it shipped? I've also been really frustrated with Ellie's eating again. She's still sporatic and seriously, I just wonder - why isnt' she progressing by now? She's still eating 2 ounces here, and then an ounce the next time...I guess I just am expecting her to be progressing better than she is. Then again, I have no real frame of reference - which is also frustrating. I am also concerned with what I think is acid reflux. It is so hard because she'll have 2-3 feedings out of the day where she is so fussy and really does not want to eat. It is so hard for me to look in her eyes trying to shove the bottle in her mouth. She needs to eat. But I feel like she's in pain when she's eating. She cries, she batts at the bottle, she arches her back, she coughs all the time, gags, and pushes the bottle out of her mouth with her tongue. She knows it hurts too. But why? Oh..what a frustrating part of parenting. What's the solution? What do we do? Is this harder on Mom than it is Ellie. Why is eating so difficult for her....why after all we've been through can't she just be better at eating. Tomorrow we are going in for Ellie's 4 month check up - it's at 9 am - with Dr.Duff. More shots..was hoping that she wouldn't have to have the synagis and the 4 month shots on the same day, but well, what choice do we really have at this point? Classes start tomorrow - Ben took some exams today from last semester as he's still trying to finish up. I'm really close to being done with last semester...praise Jesus for that. Ellie is doing well at Lori's. She's doing better than mom is I think! She's also smiled for Lori and Bridget...and last night for Ben. I haven't gotten her to smile yet...but I'm hoping it's in my near future. Will of course blog after tomorrow's doctor's appointment. I also am anxious to see her weight - since we haven't found out for two weeks now! Blessings, Team Gramkow

Synagis Drama yet again...

Well, there has been some complications with our insurance provider changing for reasons that were incorrect. Following up with phone calls have resulted in the fact that they cannot do anything about it until March - even though it was their fault. Frustrating! Anyways - this glitch has caused the pharmacy to need to "re submit" all their paperwork for the Synagis to the "new insurance" place and they called me this morning and still haven't gotten the authorization they need. We are on day 27 today and Ellie's supposed to get it administered from day 28-30 from the last injection. So here we go again with some insecurity as to if this is going to work out for Ellie to get the shot when she needs it. I might be making a trip to pick it up again if it comes down to it. The pharmacy is supposed to call me later today to keep me posted on the progress with the paperwork. Prayers as this is very frustrating that it feels like "last month's synagis drama" is occuring again! :(

Busy Busy Gramkows

Well, obviously you can tell by the number of days that we haven't posted, that we've been BUSY! I have started mid-year training back at Jardine, finish up practicum, and Ben has been trying to finish up classes and then of course watch Ellie while I've been gone! Our little Ellie sure is growing. Her eating is still sporatic, but just today she at 60 and 70 mL pretty consistently. Hopefully she's telling us she'd like to be fed every 3 hours instead of two! :) Anyways, she's been more attentive to the things she's looking at and we have a big picture frame on the white wall that she's always looking at when in her bouncy seat and close enough! We had Kim from Parents as Teachers come and teach us some more things we can be doing with Ellie to help in her development. She's the one who pointed out that Ellie probably loves staring at that picture frame because of the contrast! I've got to get some homemade black and white toys made...oh where is the time! We didn't have to go this week for a weight check, but I'm of course curious! We'll have to wait until Jan. 15 at our next Doctor's appointment (4 mo). Ellie will get some more shots! No fun! Thanks for all your prayers for Ellie and my health. So far so good...as Ellie hasn't shown signs of being sick. Also, breastfeeding is still going well - now it's been more of the time issue - being available to feed her! I'm looking forward to school starting and establishing more of a routine. Ellie has gone to Lori's and been a good girl! Although we joke because it seems like Ellie likes to poop more often at Lori's than at home! She's really paying closer attention to watching Bridget run around and I think likes the entertainment! Today she ate 70 mL for Lori which was a first for the babysitter! Wahoo! I have also been able to go to Lori's and feed Ellie over lunch which has been nice! My birthday came and went - on Jan.5 I turned 26 and Ben and Ellie serenaded me right at midnight - yes we were still up! I also got the book, Multiple Blessings as a gift from Ben and am looking forward to reading it! (It's the John and Kate Plus 8 TV show on TLC John and Kate's book about their preemie experiences). Ellie was at Lori's all day so we decided to go out to eat for lunch. It was nice to have some Mandy/Ben time!Prayers for the upcoming week - Ellie's due again for her synagis shot. There has been some more insurance confusion so please pray that it gets settled before she needs it on the 13th. Prayers also for school is starting on the 15th and Ben will still be trying to finish up last semester's classes.

Happy 4 Month Birthday Ellie!

Well, I can't believe it's been 4 months since Ellie was born! How time flies, but then again, not fast enough because Mom and Dad are sure tired! We're still feeding her every 2 hours during the day and 3 at night, and we're sure getting worn out! That probably has a little to do with why Mom couldn't fight off the cold germs any longer. My symptoms are pretty sporatic. Sometimes I'm feeling pretty good, then other times my throat hurts and then my nose starts getting congested again. I am sure praying for a speedy recovery. I'm wearing a mask anytime I'm holding Ellie, feeding Ellie or touching any of her things, washing my hands all the time - like I did before! - and trying to keep our place disinfected! I just sure don't want Ellie to get this blasted cold! Prayers for me as I'm getting a bit stressed. I'm doing the best I can, but am easily parinoid with her punky eating, and coughing. She has reflux, so she does that after feedings anyways, but I just pray that I'll be able to really tell if she's truly getting sick. Well, great news yesterday - we went to meet with Melanie to try the breastfeeding again. I have noticed that Ellie has been nursing better, but was curious to see how much she's been transferring. Yesterday's 3 pm feeding she took 46 from the breast! I was so happy! We've still been practicing with other feedings and she's getting better. But like I said before, we're still practicing! Mom likes to sing to her while she eats. That seems to calm her down especially during her 1-2 feedings during the day when she's arch backing, batting at the bottle, and fussy. I think it's reflux related. The other night Ben and I were both singing over and over to her when she had a really fussy feeding. We'll see if that trick continues to work or not. She's done pretty well at Lori's for the most part, so that's good. Ellie gets to watch Bridget run all over, so I'm sure she's pretty entertained there! Again, we're so blessed to have such a wonderful mom taking care of Ellie. Prayers for us as we are still trying to finish up homework and our deadline (Jan 15 when school starts back up) is quickly approaching. I've been sick latley, so Ben's been a great dad in caring for Ellie, but in turn isn't getting homework done. I'm getting closer to being done with my practicum. Also next week training at Jardine starts for where I work and so that will be a time-intensive time as well. I'm also back to work now, so there will be more responsibilities I'll need to figure out how to juggle. I just pray I'm back in full health before all that madness starts! Ellie's been awake a lot more now, and we caught her on some videos in her bouncy chair. Yes, if you hear me in the background - I'm fully aware that I sound like Elmo! :) :) Praying you all are having a blessed new year!

Prayers for Mandy

First off HAPPY NEW YEAR! Second, if you wouldn't mind saying a little prayer for Mandy's health, that would be great. Last night she started getting a scratchy throat. This morning, she's congested and pretty upset that she's sick and of course does not want to give it to Ellie. Today, Ben is taking Ellie to Lori's (which makes me feel better actually that I won't be around Ellie). Anyways...I'm off to bed. Please pray for rest and healing.