Merry Christmas from Team Gramkow!

We became Kansans halfway through the year, and it has been a whirlwind ever since. A good whirlwind.

Ben has thoroughly enjoyed the start of his new Engineering career at Garmin. He still is working in Avionics, but it is quite a different than working for a government contractor. He has had to learn a whole new set of ways to do business, but he loves learning so it has been a win-win for him. I love how he's so fascinated by new, intricate, technical things. He did have his yearly review the other day and said he really feels like he's where he wants to be right now career-wise. So that's good, because remember...we are never moving again. :) He still has his hobby of photography, but that has been put to the side due to being a homeowner. Yep, we are realizing the to-do list just never ends.

Ellie, is now 5 going on 15. Yep, she is going to be an emotional, sensitive girl. Little dramatic. Sounds about right based on her genetic pool, right? ;) She has loved going to preschool two days a week, and wishes she could go everyday. I think she will be ready for Kindergarten next year for sure, and our elementary school is just a couple blocks away! She is reading paragraphs, and probably has more of a vocabulary than her mom! She's even pretty good at math. We are trying to work on how to be a good friend. She's pretty shy at school. I think it has been an adjustment social wise since we've kept her home the past few years due to bringing sickness home. Ellie used to countdown until the weekend when "Daddy didn't have to work", but now it's to Monday, when she and dad go to "work." I just chuckle when she and Ben (who usually eat breakfast together) part ways in the morning, and she says "Good-bye, Engineer." I so wonder what she's going to be when she grows up. However, currently she can't get past being a princess. Everything is princess around here. She even prays for princess dreams. A highlight was going to ride in the Cinderella carriage (dressed up as Cinderella of course) at the Plaza. She was in heaven! We've also grown to really love the new princess movie, Frozen! Last weekend she got to go see Beauty and the Beast, the Broadway musical. She thought that was pretty neat too, and is ready to see Cinderella in the "people version." Ellie's hair still looks like Cinderella. It has come a long way since the great hair cutting tragedy of February 2013 which left her looking like Tinkerbell. Now we're trying to grow it out like Rapunzel. This in-between princess hair growth stage has been hard. Ah, but Ellie just has the sweetest heart. She is such a great helper with her brother (when they're not fighting), with cooking, and anything Ben is fixing. She took gymnastics and is memorizing Bible verses in Awana. I think she may try dance in the future. I think she likes the fact that she can watch herself dance in the mirror at dance class. ;) I can't believe my Ellie is already 5. I do think the years could slow down, please and thank you.

Beckett (aka Bman) is now 27 months (23 months adjusted age). He is just so blasted cute. This is such a fun stage. He's starting to jabber and talk more and more each day. His recent development was saying his own name "Beckett" which sounds like "Bucket," with a British accent but it's super cute. He also just a couple days ago started making the smooch/kiss sound, and leaned in to kiss my cheek. Talk about making mama's heart melt. He hasn't repeated that as much as I'd like, but we're working on it. :) We continue to do speech therapy with Infant Toddler Services of Johnson County every other week. Physical therapy...we are seeing again after the first of the year, but I think we may be discharged soon! For the most part he has animal sounds down (still working on sheep not saying moo) and body parts (still working on ears not being eyes). His favorite words as of now are: cheese, Ellie, Mama, Dada ... OH, and actually he is really good at saying Bye, Bye Dada. Yep, that's a phrase! boots, shoes, socks, coat. Milk is still "ilk" and light is still "ight." I was hoping those would be quick fixes maybe after his ear tubes were put in, but no change yet. I'm happy to report that I think (fingers crossed) we have an asthma action plan in place that Beckett's lungs and airway are responding positively to when he gets a cold virus. We haven't had to visit the ER in quite a while, and we are SO thankful! We actually even these past few colds have not had to use an oral steroid either. Praise Jesus! We shall see how the "rest" of cold and flu season pans out. Beckett is our silent destroyer. He's into everything, but just doesn't make a peep. Man, I'm so thankful that he's a climber, and so curious...but this mama is tired! ;) So fun to see the differences between a girl and a boy! Bman isn't the greatest eater. He's super active, and super picky. He hasn't gained any weight since August, so the doctor has recommended weigh gainer (aka pediasure) to try and help this. So far he is drinking it. We'll see if he's gained any at our next doctors appointment in January. 

I've been trying to get settled, but feel like life just needs to pause so I can actually catch up! We have things on the walls, so that's a plus. But we've found that since we live closer to family...we've been even MORE busy on the weekends. What a great problem! We even made plans to see both sets of family for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. That's a first in many years! Unfortunately that was spoiled by a stomach bug that hit all four of us at once. Yikes! That is a story in itself, but suffice it to say we will not soon forget it. So now we are back in Kansas City really having ourselves a Merry little Christmas ... just the four of us.

We have met some great neighbors, and have found a great church and weekly small group Bible study. I've also gotten to attend MOPS. I was thinking I would sit back and just take the first semester here off, but I'm actually helping teach Ellie's Awana Cubbies class, and I've already helped start the NICU Helping Hands NICU Mom's support group in Topeka (Topeka is the NICU where Ellie was born). I'm also planning on becoming a licensed day care provider, so the doors of Mandy School will reopen hopefully by next school year, if not sooner. I'm not sure how long all the paperwork will take me. I'm continuing to sell Rodan+Fields Dermatologists skin care products on the side, and still do have my long term eye on going back to school to become a NICU nurse. Just of course not sure when that will actually become a reality.

We have been so blessed by so much this year. We continue to marvel at the ways in which the Lord provides for our family. We are so thankful that God sent His Son for us, as a baby. May you celebrate His birth with true joy and gratitude from the heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!

This video is the beautiful reality...

November is Prematurity Awareness Month.

You can't get any more aware then this. This is the beautiful reality. I watch this and in my head replay my own video of Beckett and I.

Tears streaming down my face.

This was Team Gramkow.

This was Team Gramkow twice.

Words can't even describe my heart..I know many of you saw the pictures of our sweet preemies when they were born...but this...

THIS is reality...

THIS is the beautiful reality...

THIS is a true window into our NICU world with our Sweet Beckett and our Sweet Ellie.

What a precious gift Ward's parents have as this beautiful keepsake....

Click on the link to watch: http://vimeo.com/78393869

Dear Beckett. You are Two.

Dear Beckett Boy,
You are two little buddy.

Mama can't sleep tonight, but maybe it's because she just needed this time to write, reflect and thank God for you. I can't wait until you can read about your story...and guess how much I love you.

I will never be able to thank God...enough...for you.

Two years ago, right at this moment, mama and dada were very scared. Mama just had her ambulance ride to the hospital where you'd spend your first 88 days of life. But don't ask me what the inside looks like, because I never opened my eyes. I just tried to keep calm, breathing and praying for you to stay put just a little while longer. You had just "turned" 25 weeks gestation.

Two years ago, right at this very moment, our friends and family were praying for you. You see we officially named you the night before your birthday, so that they could pray for you, by name.

Two years ago, I was praying for peace, I was screaming for peace. I could feel the pain not only physically, but already emotionally for the journey we were about to embark on once again. You see, mommy and daddy had a plan, but God's peace was given to us in a different plan. I could feel Him with us that night, even though I was very scared.

Two years ago, I was praying for bed rest. I knew too much from your big sister's premature birth. I wanted us to just calm down, and stay in the hospital on bedrest for the next 15 weeks. I knew how much one more day in the womb meant in your development.

Two years ago, the nurse and your daddy couldn't ever tell me that your contractions had slowed. I was maxed out on medicine, but you still just wanted to come meet us. Daddy and I were still in denial this was happening even though we knew you were coming.

Two years ago, we met the DRG, and yes, he will tell you the most crazy story of how mama acted when we met in the delivery room. I blame the silly medicine. But you see, it's another way of how God was taking care of us. All of us. You see I was supposed to meet with Mrs.DRG that next morning to find out how I could volunteer with NICU Helping Hands. She did come meet us still, at the hospital, at our meeting time and even brought us a birthday cake because it was indeed your birthday. Dr. Grubbs was meant to be there for your birthday. I am pretty sure God was in on that call schedule making.

Two years ago, I cried as I was forced to deliver you. My body wouldn't have it any other way. I knew you were too early, and it was so hard having no control. 3 weeks earlier than sister. Only a couple pushes because you were so small. And we were too late for the re-peat C-Section because you progressed too quickly through the birth canal.

But you know what the best birthday gift that you gave your mama and dada two years ago?

You cried.

You cried right after you were born.

We didn't hear Ellie cry for days after she was born.

You cried. And we knew that was a good sign for your lungs.

Mama and Dada just lost it when you cried. We were flooded with tears of thankfulness that you cried.

I still remember that first cry.

Two years ago, at 4:43 am, they whisked you away. You weighed 2 lbs. 2.6 oz. We knew you were in good hands with the DRG, and the rest of the NICU team, but mama and dada were very sad as we sat in an empty room. Our nurse congratulated us, but we didn't want to hear it. We were sad and very scared.

Two years ago, we cried, and just stared at the wall in denial, trying to let all our exploding emotions some how surface. We had to wait a few hours until you were stabilized for us to come see you.

Two years ago, I actually got to ride in a wheelchair to come see you. I asked which isolette was mine, and Nurse Vicki pointed me to your bedside. You were so small, but I could tell already you were so brave.

Two years ago, you were supposed to be our miracle. You are STILL our miracle. And you are a testimony of God's healing and provision right before our very eyes. We are so thankful for you, miracle boy. And thankful that friends and family prayed with us this night...two years ago.

_____
Two years ago, Beckett. Two years. It's been a hard two years. It's been a great two years.

But now...

Now life with you as a two-year-old...is such a blessing.

Now, you love to watch fire trucks, ambulances and police cars go by...you love the flashing lights and are starting to say "woo-woo."

Now, you know your name. You recognize your name. You respond to your name with such a cute smile. You also respond to Beckett No-No by saying "no-no-no-no" back to me.

Now, you pray with us at the dinner table by folding your sweet little hands over the high chair table.

Now, God has still shown his awe in your development. You walk, go up and down stairs, you climb on and into EVERYTHING. Even though I thought you needed more time inutero to develop, you are doing AMAZING work finding new pathways on your own.

Now, your lungs and breathing still stress mama out. Very much. We've gotten to go into the hospital twice in the past 6 weeks little boy. You don't like the hospital. You don't like being confined to a crib in the hospital. You are fascinated by trying to take off all the wires, but you don't like them. I don't blame you. Hopefully we'll get a good plan of action to help manage your asthma at the specialist tomorrow.

Now, we miss the DRG and MRS. terribly, but are happy to be closer to sister's NICU to start giving back here. We know that your and sister's story is helping mama and dada in turn help other NICU and preemie parents who are too having to experience the NICU journey.

Now, you are a big boy! Growing so nicely along your growth curve. You are a self-feeder, and are starting the picky toddler stage too. Last summer, you still were a STINKER with eating, but I'm so thankful that is behind us. We're still working on not having to bear claw food, but fine-motor-tuning will come.

Now, you have different kinds of cry. The whiney cry. The hurt cry. The I want that cry. The I'm getting malled by sister, come save me cry. The I want my mama cry. And I love them all.

Now, I get to hold you all the time, whenever I want. And when I hold you, I often think about the first time I held you, on day 3, when you were just under two pounds. I love that your body stretches out almost to where you won't fit anymore on my lap.

Now, we still enjoy EVERY single day. EVERY single breath as a gift.

We love you so much sweet Beckett boy. This mama loves you SO much.

Love,
Your favorite girl