I remember last week, after Beckett's cranial appointment sitting in the car feeding Beckett singing my Matt Hammitt songs. (Like I would sing on the way to the NICU) It was so weird being back in the hospital district. Those days when I was in the parking lot, not wanting to go into the NICU only because I was afraid of what the "news" would be of the day. I was so thankful because there I was feeding Beckett, he was out of the hospital. He really in the grand scheme is doing great. I wasn't the mom that was hyperventilating, crying in the hallway outside Beckett's room as we waited for the doctor in the neurology department. I don't know what her story was, but I knew for where I was, it probably wasn't good. I prayed for that woman, and than prayed to God for Beckett's health and development, for EVERY intricate part of his body. I know God gifted us with a miracle. I still know Beckett was supposed to be our miracle. Just wish I could rid the worry. But the worry reminds me that I need Jesus more and more.
B-man has been jabbering up a storm lately. He is actually talking in this picture. He makes some oohh, ooh sounds, and has mastered the deep belly laugh. He is ticklish, that Beckett.
Which is good because I frequently have to intervene between these two siblings. Ellie loves to body slam tickle and make him laugh. He does laugh when she tickles. He does not laugh however, when she tries to clean out his eye boogers with a plastic ring. (See the orange one on the blanket.) He also doesn't like when she vulcher (not sure how to spell that) grips his hand to open so she can place the toy in his hand.
The eating STRIKE continues...
It's been a month now that Beckett hasn't really wanted to increase his volumes. He is still technically gaining weight, but still not as ideal as we would like. He is supposed to be taking 24-32 oz. a day for his age, but he is hanging out around 16-20 oz. I'm not breastfeeding anymore, so pumping again. And now it is obviously easy to measure. Because of his lack of inake and gain, they bumped up to 27 calories every feeding. (which we started two weeks ago per the nutrition request). Ok, so then I met with OT, and they recommended feeding every 2 hours. So we've been doing this again for 2 weeks. His first week summary indicated that he has been averaging about 2 oz. per feeding. Ok, we'll take it. They were encouraged that even though we increased his caloric intake, he didn't lessen his volume. Well this week. NOT SO MUCH.
Yesterday. I had to work all day to feed him, and he would only take 1 OUNCE per feeding. I could tell he was really in need of making a poopy diaper too. We were on day 5. We also have consistently been giving him juice (1 to 2 oz/day) of pear or apple/prune. IT WAS AWFUL! He just did NOT want to eat. And I don't blame him. Per our visit with Dr. Hanson last week (where he weighed 14 oz. 3.5 oz.) she said we could let him sleep through the night. So last night, we fed him at 11 pm, and he slept until 5 am. He was just so tired! He cat napped all day, and then I fought with him past our 30 min mark to get him to eat. FRUSTRATING.
So back to Dr.Hanson's visit. She suggested that we have a GI consult. Maybe they can help with what's going on intake wise, and intestinal wise. We haven't officially ruled out reflux, so maybe he's getting to the point where he only wants to take a limited volume, and then is in pain. He doesn't show the classic spits that you usually have with reflux, but then again, he doesn't EAT very much VOLUME!
Yesterday. 15 oz. Not good, buddy. Not good. Just hard because I know he needs to eat. With Ellie, I felt this same way. Hard to find the balance. I know he needs to SLEEP too. So where is the balance, when I am trying to feed him every two hours. Frustrating. Ellie would have rather slept, than eat. Beckett would rather play, than eat. He also doesn't like to sleep unless you're holding him. The minute you put him down, those wide, big eyes are AWAKE!
I'm trying not to freak too much, but it is still concerning. My mommy instinct is just bothered by his low intake. I just don't know what else to do to make him eat...and poop!
I had to take some time last night to reflect on how blessed we are. It's so easy to get frustrated on this preemie journey. It's MOST important that we cling to remember the ways in which God has healed our son, and provided for our family. Still SO thankful His mercies are new every morning.
Today has already been a better day...
After the assistance from a suppository, he did have a poopy diaper. I have gotten him to drink some juice. AND he has eaten 3 ounces two of the feedings today. I may or may not have taken an hour with one of them, but he was sucking while sleeping, so I went for it!
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is Physical Therapy, and Thursday is Occupational Therapy and Nutritionist from ECI (a new one). Interested to see what his weight is on Thursday, and what the revised plan of action will be.
Eating STRIKE. Be gone. Please.
I know a bunch of you have already prayed for Beckett, but if you wouldn't mind, please say a prayer for his intestines, and that his motivation to eat would increase. Pray for the eating every 2 hour schedule, Mama is tired of pumping and feeding bottles! Pray for Sweet Ellie's heart, and my patience with her as my time is consumed with getting Beckett to eat. Thanks friends!
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