Shiny Cars Sticker for Beckett!

Well, yesterday, this mama really needed to hold her sweet Beckett especially after the news of the grade 2 brain bleed. Mama needed her time with her sweet boy to tell him that even though the head ultrasound found what it did, he is still perfect. And no matter if he had any neuro or developmental delays, his mama and daddy would work with him the best they could. After all, research has shown that their outcome is better when the parents are involved with their development, nurturing an environment with proper stimulation, and this is really important after we go home too. We will qualify for Early Childhood Intervention when we are released from the hospital, where they will help us work on physical therapy and occupational therapy. Now, Ellie had ECI when we first moved to Texas, so Melissa, put dibbs in for us because we want you as our case manager for Beckett, Ok?! :) Also, my good friend, Christy is a physical therapist and said she would help me with his therapy too. So Beckett buddy, we will do everything we can to help you.

I held him and sang Jesus Loves You during his 5 pm feeding yesterday, again skin to skin. He wasn't tolerating it as well as the first time I held him, but over and over we would try to relax and cuddle, and keep each other warm. This is when I also noticed that his heart rate was higher than I had seen before. It would get really high when he would move. And it even got high sometimes with desats. The nurse thought maybe his pulse ox wasn't reading correctly, as she studied the monitor and his breathing patterns. Ben said when he was visiting earlier that Beckett was doing that too...the elevated heart rate thing.

We will see after the docs round this morning if they address the heart rate issue. Last night he did have one  A and B they had to stimulate. His urine ouput is good, but still hasn't stooled again (you could pray for this too!). He has been tolerating his feeds well, no spits, and I am going to point out that he had no residual after the 5 pm feeding when I was holding him, just sayin :) his 02 still has been hanging out at 23 percent.

Beckett didn't gain or lose any weight yesterday, so he is still at 2 lbs 0.5 oz.

Mama finally got Beckett's sticker calendar ready. For Ellie we had a princess sticker calendar, and it was fun to celebrate one thing she did well each day! Beckett's calendar is green with circles and dots, and for the stickers, we have some smile faces, stars and good jjob statements. However, remember when Ellie was extra good? She would get a gold princess sticker? Well for Mr.Beckett, we thought, hey boys like things shiny, are easily distracted by things shiny, so he will earn shiny stickers! They are shiny silver stickers from the movie cars. Doesn't really go with our theme of airplanes, but daddy picked out the shiny stickers, so we will go with it! :)

So yesterday, little buddy, you get a shiny sticker for tolerating your feeds, and also for what daddy posted yesterday about your ultrasound news.

Today, pray specifically for his elevated heart rate, miracle to remove all bleeding from his brain (hey, our God is a big God), and for Beckett's bowels to keep working.

I found some comfort worshipping last night to Chris Tomlin's song, Our God. I believe. God is our Healer. So thankful I believe. I pray Beckett believes some day too. We will have quite the story to share with him of God's provison in his little life.

Beckett on the Brain

Of course our little boy has been on our mind a lot lately, but especially today after the news Dr. Grubbs shared with us this morning. First we found out that they upped his feeds to 6 mL. He has had minimal residuals left in his tummy after feedings, and they have not been brown or green. So he is doing awesome at eating! Good work Beckett!

Unfortunately not all the news was good news. The results of the head ultrasound came back. The doctors have detected some bleeding in his brain. There are two pockets of fluid called ventricles inside each half of the brain. Surrounding each ventricle is a matrix of blood vessels.  In premature babies these blood vessels tend to bleed into the ventricles. This bleeding is categorized into four grades. A grade one bleed has minimal bleeding in the ventricles. A grade two bleed has more bleeding in the ventricles. A grade three bleed has enough bleeding to cause the ventricles to swell. A grade four bleed means that the bleeding has reached the brain tissue, which does not necessarily mean the ventricles are enlarged.

Beckett has some bleeding on both halves of his brain. On the left half, the bleeding has not even reached the ventricles, so it is too minor to even be graded. This is of little concern. On the left half of his brain Beckett has a grade two bleed. This gives him a slightly increased risk of impaired neuro-muscular development. Ellie had a grade one bleed in her brain which comes with no increased risk. Dr. Grubbs assured us that babies with grade three and four bleeds have the most increased risk of impaired development. He said that a grade two bleed is not devastating. From a distanced, objective viewpoint he is surely correct. Of course my view is first hand and subjective. I'm not saying I think this is devastating news. I don't. I certainly think that God is fully capable of handling this one. And I know there's little I can do other than interact with Beckett in ways that encourage neuro-muscular development. (Which was already part of the plan the coming years.) Still this news is hard to hear.

We knew that he would have good days and bad days. And from where Beckett sits ... well okay he doesn't sit up yet. From where Beckett lies he is having a good day. Dr. Grubbs said that all the bleeding occurs in the first 3-5 days. They wait a week to do the ultrasound to make sure they will see all the bleeding. What's done is done. The bleeding has likely stopped by now. It's just that we didn't know about it until today.

So what's going on in his little body today? He is gaining weight and making real progress on digesting food. Dr. Grubbs sees no signs of NEC. He continues to breathe well with his oxygen at a very low mixture (22% - 25%). All of this awesomeness is coming just days after his brain bleed stopped. Good work Beckett, way to bounce back! That deserves a sticker!

Rock Star Beckett gained 20 grams!

And he is back up to 2 lbs. 0.5 oz. Not quite back up to birth weight, but we will take it! This mama is happy! Yesterday, they did increase his feeds to 4 ml, and he did a decent job of tolerating it. His residuals have been 1ml or lower (except for thiis last feeding it was 2ml, but he was on his left side, and doesn't like it as much as being on the right side or his tummy). AND the green is gone! He also has had to have suppositories to help with the prematurity dismotility issues he has been having. He did stool a few times on his own, so that is good...things are starting to function. They still are the myconium, sticky tar, but are starting to transition to normal looking stools. &e has only peed for his diaper changes over the night. His Oxygen has been around 25 percent all day. He has had a few apnea and brady episodes, but not too many where they had to stimulate him (which means the nurse touches him to try and remind him that he needs to breathe!). Still no results on the head ultrasound, so remember no news is good news. This mornngs blood sugar and labs were good. His bilirubin level is 8.5, down from 8.9 yesterday, and their new range for him getting phototherapy again is 10. All in all Beckett had a good day.

Please pray for my physical health and recovery. My body hasn't been kind to me. :( I actually spent all afternoon at the doctor's office yesterday because of it. I am on quite a bit of medicine now, so hopefully I will be feeling relief soon. I'm also pumping every 3 hours now instead of two, and my milk supply is still in abundance. Praise Jesus. I have actually been able to rest a little more going 3 hours inbetween, but I am still really exhausted. I know its important for mama to take care of herself, and that's what I have een doing the past couple days, but it has resulted in me only getting to see Beckett for about 15 min each day :( yesterday, the awesome nurse manager, director of the NICU, can remember her title, stopped by to say hello, and ben told her I wasn't feeling well and was at the doc. She asked if he had taken pics, and he said well, no because we forgot the memory card for my camera and my phone is dead. So Theresa went and got her camera, took pics and printed off a couple for me! So sweet. See its the little things that just make your day. Theresa actually has her own preemie at 26 weeks, and he is 19 and in college now! I've missed talking with Dr.Grubbs the past two days, but my fam has done their best to give me updates. Yesterday when Dr.Grubbs saw Beckett, he said that Beckett was a Rock Star patient today! :) Pray for safe travels for my mom, dad, and sister (and baby maizee) as they travel back the rest of the way today to Iowa and Minnesota. They drove half way last night. Bens family, his sister Anna and her husband Fred, along with Grandma Gramkow are now here to help out and see their newest tiniest family member. We are glad they are here as we are still trying to figure out what our new normal schedule is going to be.