Well, yesterday, this mama really needed to hold her sweet Beckett especially after the news of the grade 2 brain bleed. Mama needed her time with her sweet boy to tell him that even though the head ultrasound found what it did, he is still perfect. And no matter if he had any neuro or developmental delays, his mama and daddy would work with him the best they could. After all, research has shown that their outcome is better when the parents are involved with their development, nurturing an environment with proper stimulation, and this is really important after we go home too. We will qualify for Early Childhood Intervention when we are released from the hospital, where they will help us work on physical therapy and occupational therapy. Now, Ellie had ECI when we first moved to Texas, so Melissa, put dibbs in for us because we want you as our case manager for Beckett, Ok?! :) Also, my good friend, Christy is a physical therapist and said she would help me with his therapy too. So Beckett buddy, we will do everything we can to help you.
I held him and sang Jesus Loves You during his 5 pm feeding yesterday, again skin to skin. He wasn't tolerating it as well as the first time I held him, but over and over we would try to relax and cuddle, and keep each other warm. This is when I also noticed that his heart rate was higher than I had seen before. It would get really high when he would move. And it even got high sometimes with desats. The nurse thought maybe his pulse ox wasn't reading correctly, as she studied the monitor and his breathing patterns. Ben said when he was visiting earlier that Beckett was doing that too...the elevated heart rate thing.
We will see after the docs round this morning if they address the heart rate issue. Last night he did have one A and B they had to stimulate. His urine ouput is good, but still hasn't stooled again (you could pray for this too!). He has been tolerating his feeds well, no spits, and I am going to point out that he had no residual after the 5 pm feeding when I was holding him, just sayin :) his 02 still has been hanging out at 23 percent.
Beckett didn't gain or lose any weight yesterday, so he is still at 2 lbs 0.5 oz.
Mama finally got Beckett's sticker calendar ready. For Ellie we had a princess sticker calendar, and it was fun to celebrate one thing she did well each day! Beckett's calendar is green with circles and dots, and for the stickers, we have some smile faces, stars and good jjob statements. However, remember when Ellie was extra good? She would get a gold princess sticker? Well for Mr.Beckett, we thought, hey boys like things shiny, are easily distracted by things shiny, so he will earn shiny stickers! They are shiny silver stickers from the movie cars. Doesn't really go with our theme of airplanes, but daddy picked out the shiny stickers, so we will go with it! :)
So yesterday, little buddy, you get a shiny sticker for tolerating your feeds, and also for what daddy posted yesterday about your ultrasound news.
Today, pray specifically for his elevated heart rate, miracle to remove all bleeding from his brain (hey, our God is a big God), and for Beckett's bowels to keep working.
I found some comfort worshipping last night to Chris Tomlin's song, Our God. I believe. God is our Healer. So thankful I believe. I pray Beckett believes some day too. We will have quite the story to share with him of God's provison in his little life.
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