Friday, October 14, 2011

Let Go - by Matt Hammitt

I'm back home now. I'm thankful for the peace I had about leaving Beckett's side. His episodes seemed to calm down. I do think the caffeine helped. He still kept desatting, but at least he would self resolve instead of having to be vigorously stimulated by the nurse like earlier tonight.

Why Lord? Why am I the one who keeps begging you to let me have just one more day with Beckett? I know this preemie thing is one day at a time ... but then I doubt. I get scared. I feel helpless, and it drops me to my knees again pleading to let me keep my miracle baby ... many more days. Please God. Our family is complete with our Sweet Beckett.

I cried the whole way home driving from the hospital. My good friend Casi gave me a copy of her Jonathan's "heart" album. I tried singing this song on the way home.

This song is my prayer tonight ... today.

Please pray this for us:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhmbtZfVi9U


Let Go by Matt Hammitt
I want to hold on 'cause I'm afraid
And I didn't ask for it to be this way
Somehow I found myself caught in the grey
Reaching out for fear, running out of faith

You know what I don't
So help me to let go
You're in control
So help me to let go
I want to let go

I want to let go of what I can't change
'Cause I can't wrap my mind around Your ways
I've got more questions than I have answers these days
Please don't let my suffering go to waste

You know what I don't
So help me to let go
You're in control
So help me to let go
I want to let go

These are the moments its hard to believe
So please help me, please help me
These are the moments of surrendering
So please help me,  please help me

You know what I don't
So help me to let go
You're in control
So help me to let go
I want to let go
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    I have not read the blog since we have Been out of town. I'm praying so hard for you and sweet Beckett. I just can't stop crying. Lord, please give mandy the strength that I know I would Not gave on this day to day journey. Keep Beckett moving in the right direction. Amen

    Amanda b

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  2. AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    Praying for your little warrior and that you will know the warm embrace of the Father today.

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  3. AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    We are keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. Keep that chin up and keep that faith strong. There will be better days ahead. Little Beckett is a fighter. Sending Hugs from the Brinkman's in Greene.

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  4. AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 9:54 AM

    Oh Mandy....as I sit here reading your blog and reading your posts on Facebook, tears are flowing and my heart is breaking for you and Team Gramkow. As we prepare to celebrate our little Kyleigh's 3rd birthday today, my heart is sad for you and all that you are going through, again. Kyleigh and Ellie were both in the NICU at Stormont Vail together - what a blessing they both are, and what good things God has given us. And prayers are being sent to God on the hour for your baby Beckett and that he can pull this and continue to grow stronger. Please know so many people are praying for you all and will continue to pray for you. Hugs from the Parrack's in Kansas.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SarahOctober 14, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Mandy, Ben, Ellie, & Beckett--- Sending MANY, MANY prayers for peace, courage, and strength your way.

    Love from Iowa, the Johnsons

    ReplyDelete

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