Blue Boy

This is hard. I remember it with Ellie, but it doesn't mean I liked it. Well, I knew the time would come. And it's just one of those things growing up as a preemie. Turning blue. Last night, Ben and I got to go to the NICU together, and Ben was holding Beckett skin to skin. He was having a hard time getting settled on daddy's chest, and wasn't doing a very good job of keeping his mouth closed, so all the Oxygen could go where it was supposed to. His oxygen saturation started dropping to it's normal low 80s, and following was his heart rate drop (this is what we call the As and Bs, remember?) But then, he kept desatting...and hanging out around 64 for WHAT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER! The nurse was right by, and we were waiting to see if Beckett would start remembering that he needed to take a breath. And then we saw him turning blue. I mentioned it to the nurse, and she's like, yep, you're right, he's turning blue. She stimulated him a little (rubbed his back) and finally his sats came back up. Luckily we didn't have to flick his feet or vigorously stimulate him....I HATE it when they have to do that. The nurse gave Beckett another chance to stay cuddling with daddy, and he finally settled it. Daddy and Beckett got to cuddle for an hour, while mommy put up some more decorations in his room, and updated his sticker calendar. The time went too fast. Oh, how I wish we could just stay there all the time, like we did with Ellie.

This is hard. This time is harder. We now have two blessings, and have to split time. They both need us. This is hard. And as you can see, I can't even keep the blog updated as much as I'd like because we haven't quite figured it out yet. Did I mention this is hard? Seems like the weekend is worse because I don't have my "time with Beckett" as I do when Ellie goes to preschool from 9 to 2:30. I was doing better at it before, being ok with being there less, but the mommy guilt is sure kicking in this morning. Please pray for balance for us. Please pray for peace for both Ben and I as we split our time. Please pray to protect our marriage. Pray that we intentionally take time out for each other, even when we are exhausted at the end of the day.

Yesterday, Mr.Beckett's PICC line got removed! So he is getting all the nutrition he needs through his feeding, which was bumped up yesterday to 20 mls! Crazy, that seems like SO MUCH! But he's doing great! He gained a little last night, so he is now 2 lbs. 6.1 oz. The nurse also told me that he hadn't had any low, low oxygen saturations/episodes since that bad blue one...so that's good. The majority have been self-resolving. He still is having lots of air in his tummy...so maybe you could pray specifically for that? His poor tummy always looks distended because that CPAP is filling it up with so much air. :( Dr. Grubbs is gone for the weekend, and the back up doctor hadn't been around to write orders when I called this morning.

Ellie and I are getting ready to head out to meet up with daddy (who went to the church work day) at Ellie's preschool Fall Festival. Should be fun to enjoy outside for a bit, and then I'll head to the hospital after that.

However, I just checked the mail, and am SO STOAKED because Beckett got his first two airplanes! I can't wait to read them to him this afternoon! My heart is happy. Thanks for sending them Teri and Joey! Made my day, and such good reminders of God's provision in Beckett's little life.

Have a blessed day!
Love, Team Gramkow