Still having troubles breathing

Well, today has been a long day. Sad, I just had to look on the computer to see what day it was..I did think it was still Monday. At times I really wish it was...I had a list of things to get done today, and well, that's just not happening anything too quickly. I'm finding that I have a hard time focusing when Ellie's having her episodes. :( Oh, the worrisome mother syndrome! Well, Miss. Ellie has had 15 (I think?) apneas/bradicardia's today - 5 of them required an additional dose of O2. :( So those are considered tactile. She still has a majority of them self-resolving, which is good. Ellen, her nurse practitioner said today that she is "moderately" concerned, and not overly concerned. Miss Ellie is just acting her age and may be tired and recovering from an awesome week last week. She actually said she didn't think the episodes were linked to the change in her room air dosage from 2 to 1.5 L through her nasal cannula. She switched to that yesterday morning, so she would have anticipated a change in a/bs during the day yesterday instead of at night. Instead Ellie had only 3 all day yesterday, so we're still not sure on that one. Ellen said we're still obviously going to keep a close eye on her, but we're not going to change any O2 as of yet. Also, Ellie is still getting the maximum amt of caffeine recommended for her age - to help with the a/bs. So can't change anything there. All of Ellen's other assessments were great: tone, color, etc. So again, Ellie's just acting like a 29 gestational week preemie. She's still getting the daily enemas and isn't pooping on her own, but should as her feedings increase this week. She has tolerated her feedings thus far with the 6 mL every 3 hours, but then again it's only been since 2 pm since she got that first increase. She's been sleeping and hopefully gaining more weight today! Ellen reminded me again today (as I was getting upset) that Ellie really is doing great. There are other babies that have 20 to 50+ a/bs and they're majority tacticle (where they have to touch them). Oh, I did ask if they considered the whole O2 thing as a tactile, and they do. There are only two categories - self-resolving and tactile (meaning - uh, we have to intervene because baby isn't remembering to breathe). She had a PICC placement X-ray today and Ellen said it was perfect. So that's good. Since I'm the planner type - I asked her more about when Ellie goes home - she said there is a 50-60% chance of all preemies to go home on an apnea monitor - especially if they are on caffeine. She would wear this basically all the time. Again - that first 6 months after she goes home will be an adjustment especially with monitors/medications. BUT ... we can start praying now because there ARE babies that go home not needing this stuff. It's obviously still too early to tell how the next 8-10 weeks are going to progress. All we can do is take one day at a time, pray, and respond to what Ellie's trying to tell us! Sorry I didn't get much blogging done today...man, the milk production is going very well, almost too well...I'm finding my time in between pumping is dwindling...where does the time go in a day, really? They said the first two weeks is critical in ensuring a proper milk supply, so hopefully I'll get to stretch things out to longer than every 2 hours! So please forgive me if you've written/called. I haven't forgotten, just am slow in getting there! Keep praying for out little Ellie's breathing! Lord, comfort her for a restful night.